NewsFlash: Workplace Productivity Takes a Nosedive

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  • Updated 11 months ago
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July 27 2017 - Pornography has long been blamed as the top source of distraction in the workplace resulting in a reduced worker productivity. Thanks to Austin Texas based high tech company Flexradio Systems, an amateur radio application is quickly becoming a major distraction that may give porno a run for it's money. Since the release of the company's latest version of it's SmartSDR v2.0 software, amateur radio operators (aka Hams) are using the software to login to their radios from workplace to their homes. IT managers are baffled over the dramatic increase in requests and modest increase in streaming from employees workstations and tablets and may even be concerned with any security ramifications.

Reports from all over the country and overseas, employees are missing meetings, taking longer lunches and breaks, staying behind locked office doors. Last time a craze like this happened was the release of Pokemon. In one incident in an Atlanta police had to be called late yesterday to break down the door of one office worker who was arrested and later released. The workday for this high-tech firm ended at 6pm local time but not for Fred. The workers' full name is being withheld at this time. Co-workers and and security staff tried for several hours to get Fred to open his door. Fred would not respond but they hear him talking to someone and what was described as "strange codes" as Fred would occasional yell "59 59 and 73 and CQ. Fearing he was suffering some kind of health issue or what one unnamed co-worker suspected he's a Russian spy, the police were called along with paramedics. When all negotiating attempts to communicate with Fred failed as he just kept repeating, "CQ, CQ, CQ",  policed busted the door entering the office to find a startled Fred with headphones on his head. When officers saw he was no immediate threat and after the paramedics him out ok Fred was immediately handcuffed. What was thought a medical emergency was now a police matter, Fred was taken into custody. He was heard saying as he was escorted out of the building to the police car, "It's only radio, Ham Radio Matters". Then blurted more coded messages, "where's maestro, I want my maestro".

Fred was detained by Atlanta police overnight for observation and release this morning into the custody of his wife. We have learned there will be no charges filed as it was a big misunderstanding, besides Fred has his wife to deal with. A crowd of two people with "Ham Radio Matters" t-shirts were there to greet Fred and he left county jail with his wife tugging him by his ear.

If you have heard of similar accounts please report them here. What is this phenomenon? Are these secrets codes communications a prequel to an alien invasion?

When this reporter attempted to contact Flexradio Systems for a comment, there was only a recorded message where it sounded like a big party going on, a celebration of some kind, then you hear someone say, "Tim is finally getting that drink and no we have no release date for version 3". Whatever that means.

Upon further investigation (ok I googled it), these ham radio people use their radios to talk to each other. Go figure. No security threats, no alien invasion. Just some fake news, created by VE3CKO.
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Mike - VE3CKO, Elmer

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Posted 11 months ago

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Mark - WS7M

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LOL I love it!  My productivity is definitely down as I tinker and play!
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Jeff - K5JEF

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"A crowd of two people with "Ham Radio Matters" t-shirts were there to greet Fred"

He managed to have two supporters? He must be popular.
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Mike - VE3CKO, Elmer

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Fred has become a local legend within the local ham community. A third person recently joined.
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Ken - NM9P, Elmer

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LOL! That is one of the funniest things I have seen posted on the Community!

My wife thought it was funny, too, if not a little too close to home.
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Mike - VE3CKO, Elmer

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UPDATE: As similar stories continue to surface from around the world, the focus continues to surround the unusual situation yesterday at an Atlanta-based company. (read the first post
 
Although Fred has been released from custody, investigators have not released the Fred's personal items which included a tablet type device with what was described as having knobs on the front. It is not clear at this time if this is what Fred was referring to as he was arrested when he was heard shouting, "where's maestro, I want my maestro". Lead investigator Ken Wood says "We are working closely with special agent Yae Su from the FBI and we are confident we will get to the bottom of what or who orchestrated this odd behavior in Fred and many others in our community. 
A spokesman for the family says under advisement from his lawyer Fred cannot comment just yet. Fred has been too busy of late doing what the spokesman called are honey do's one of which involves remodeling the kitchen.
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Gary L. Robinson

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I hear the congress is considering appointing an independent prosecutor to look into this.  Rumors indicate they may appoint Ken Wood.
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Mike - VE3CKO, Elmer

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Gary I've been looking into that rumor and it turns out Ken Wood and that FBI guy Yae Su have some incredible conflicts of interest. I think he should be fired before he is appointed.
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Gary L. Robinson

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Only Al Linco could fire him (ouch!)
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Rory - N6OIL

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What? Did I hear it right that Mr. Collins will be coming out of retirement? The interwebs are so full of misleading stories lately.  
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Mike - VE3CKO, Elmer

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The news just keeps on coming, even on a Sunday afternoon. I've heard it from an unnamed source that has decide to unmask himself. It turns out the mother of all deep throat operatives is no other than Marc Oni.
Ok, it's lame.